Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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