your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
North Korea, Best Korea!
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
