Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
