Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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