dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The feeling are messing with the penis
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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