If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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