I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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