yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
