rhymes with "ouble enetration"
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
