She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
