I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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