so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
