I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
