Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
