I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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