Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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