everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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