Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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