Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
