I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I bet he comes in French.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
