I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
