They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
