i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
