Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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