i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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