my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
