Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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