Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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