It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
