hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Randomize
