i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
