Church boner. Awkwardddd
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
