I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
