Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
