I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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