its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
