He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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