So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
