She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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