i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
