that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
