I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
