Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
