PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
It was like getting head from an anaconda
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
