so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize