4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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