It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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