Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize