Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wish i was in the wii world.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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