oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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