do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
