This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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