respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
i now understand why vodka
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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