I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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