Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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