youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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