The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
