My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
