I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
