This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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