I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
