ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize