I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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