Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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