He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
